Posted by: qwaider | May 23, 2007


One of the hardest decisions and most life changing is the decision to leave home and fly away. It’ true that it’s there’re many benefits in travelling and leaving the warmth of the cradle we grew up in. But the price is so great.
I’m going to talk about getting out of touch on current matters and growing pop culture. From the latest slang, to the latest trends to what hot, hip and cool. Sooner or later we age way before our time. We discover that we have missed out of a major stage in our development.
It’s very important for people to share parts of their lives. The more we share, the more commonality we have.
I look back at people who left ‘home’ long time ago, I noticed that they seem to be talking with an accent. This is true with almost any group away from their national roots. Take for example the Circassians in the middle east. They left home, and were isolated for many years. Many will tell you that their accents are closer to the classical Circassians simply because their accents haven’t evolved as it has back home
This is one of the many things that we sacrifice when we make the giant leap out of our nest. To be more precise, we lose touch with the community and the latest communication techniques. The result? Embarrassing moments and extreme miscommunications. Leading to higher levels of dissatisfaction and frustration. Mostly when dealing with partners, friends and possibly future potential life partner. Making the possibility of finding the right person remote.
Let alone the image that expats have among people. Everyone think expats are living a dream. Everything is easy, simple and money is abundant. Leading people to have a greedy look at them and whenever any one of them approaches a family they expect the world from him.
And finally, trust. Any expat can attest that whenever they go home for a visit. They have a hard time convincing people of just about anything. Women have even a harder time just to prove their chastity to people. It appears that people immediately have ideas about people living abroad and how suddenly “loose” they become. When in fact, many have remained true to their heritage even way more than people who stayed behind

Let this continue to be a warning to people who just want to escape their realities … there are many sacrifices to be made when choosing to immigrate or choosing the life of an expatriate .. therefore choose wisely


  1. I agree, it is a difficult choice that we have to make when we become expats. The motivation is, like you said, to have a better life – a dream life. While it may be possibly achieved by successful expats, I think that, although the majority of expats end up better off financially than their at-home counterparts, like you said, we miss out on a lot of things and we tend to have a void. It is because we always try to adapt and to belong in our new environment, and, add the stress of finding new friends, who also may be expats, trying to adapt your communication strategies and lifestyle, and you end up being alienated from your home town.

    It upsets me because, like so many expats I am in communication with, we all “want to go back home but can’t”. We can’t because we alienated ourselves from our country’s individual mentality, lifestyle and perhaps social and financial status.

  2. What pisses me off ab out this is that everyone thinks you’re a millionaire just because you’re an expat!

    And when you go back home, you’re a “kharoof” to everyone you come across, and they do have a sharp eye for recognizing expats!

  3. Sometimes being aways feels good but other times it hurts!You feel good because you don’t have to deal with ignorance(eventhough it exists every where, but here at least you can choose to live in an un-ignorant area), back home you have to deal with “he said/she said”, you have to deal with rooted Bureaucracy, you can’t say whats on your mind freely fearing to offend someone or even being arrested! Again the only thing that makes a home home is family and real friends, just bring them all here to the US and I will be the happiest person!!
    One more thing, yes they do believe that money grows on trees here!

  4. It’s so true about the accent, but I think it’s cool that the really old heritage is kept.

    And the money. When my husband visited Amman when we were engaged he had to take people out for dinner and buy them 7alawan. I thought he was the guest and he is supposed to be taken out?????? bizarre and degusting.

    When I go to Amman though by myself I get taken out everywhere and don’t pay for anything, So I think the kharoof thing applies to men more than women.

  5. true regarding the accent, a friend of mine went to USA and suddenly he lost his “zargawi gal” and started to speak the old “kal” of villages from around Jerusalem as his relatives there are all speaking this way.

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