Posted by: qwaider | August 28, 2007

The trip home

Part of every expatriate trip is the trip back home. Despite the fact that we are usually floating half the time to go home. It adds a huge amount of misery and suffering to the expat
The amount of preparation, the halting of life. The excessive shopping for “things” that the family back home will enjoy and the never ending list of items requested that you’re supposed to get requested because you’re “away”
Then the extra weight and the extra bills to get it sorted out to carry a ton of crap! I’m sure there is crap where you’re going but you just have to take the crap “made proudly in China” just happens to bought in some other country
Then comes the endless lines at the airports and if you happen to be one of the “lucky” people living in the western civilization. Then expect couple more hours of delay while you go through “Random security checks”
You sit in a tight little seat with the guy in front of you snoring in your lap. The girl next to you drooling (literally) on your shirt. The lady across the aisle changing her son’s soiled diaper IN YOU NOSE while the kids behind you is playing footsie on the back of your neck!
But you’re willing to take all of that for the sake of those precious moments you’re going to spend with your beloved family
The hostess arrives asking you to make a choice between junk or crap! And you end up taking crap because it has less calories and have not been recently the epicenter of food poisoning at the national level.
So you get your dish of crap and you end up getting food poisoning anyway! You spend the rest of the flight hugging the tight little toilet seat cause really, if you stood up your head is going to bang the ceiling. If you sneezed your head is going to splat all over the mirror and if you breathe you’ll over extend the little door that you had to squeeze and exhale to pass through like that goddamn tight genes from the days of high-school, 28 inches ago
Then the plain touches down and 400 people immediately spring up and stand on the tip of your head! It seams that they’re all late for a very important meeting at 9PM, and standing up helps them get there faster
Cell phones flipping, baby diapers flying, hostess on speaker phone cussing and begging everyone to “remain seated until the plane has come to a full and complete stop and the doors are open”. Of course, no way anyone would remember that “the contents of the over head compartments may have shifted during flight” and “watch while opening the over head compartment” since it will fall down on someone’s head and render them unconscious
Now the arrival… is a whole other story!


Responses

  1. looooooooool @ “You sit in a tight little seat with the guy in front of you snoring in your lap. The girl next to you drooling (literally) on your shirt. The lady across the aisle changing her son’s soiled diaper IN YOU NOSE while the kids behind you is playing footsie on the back of your neck!
    ” This really cracked me up!!
    etrou7 ow terja3 bissalameh inshalla😉

  2. Hehehehhe, pretty much summed up everything!

  3. I haven’t been back for a visit yet… but this is pretty much what i am expecting!! 🙂 Lol….

  4. I seriously think I got food poisoning from the RJ flight to Dubai, or maybe it’s the damn Manasef I was obliged to take there day in and day out

  5. Ah, the yearly trip. It begins to take a toll on you and you always promise yourself this is the last time: you’re going to go, carrying anything for anyone, or buying gifts that you find time to purchase, taking your belongings out of the luggage to make room for, and deliver safe upon arrival. I’ve stopped telling people I am going/coming so they don’t ask…you can usually find everything there.

    You didn’t mention the kids, 2-4 per mother under the age of 5, with the father nowhere to be found, running around pulling on every lever on the plane even the emergency door handles, going up and down the aisles at all times, or throwing their toys around.

    Even though you make the flying part sound bad, and it is, to me the flight is much better than the experience at the terminal…especially at QAIA.

  6. why is it i am freaking out to travel this time…i feel the burden of it…big time…
    thanx dude and yeah bessallameh…

  7. Maaan, you should try the RJ flight from Amman to Chicago and vice versa, 13 hours straight of the same torture you describe above ! Try to beat that !

  8. Faisal, actually, I did… check it out here: Neither royal, nor Jordanian

  9. Wallahi, I swear to God I laughed out loud reading this & can’t stop smiling..

    OMG! So freakin true..

    Way to go🙂 I could have never described it better..

    It’s sad though😦

    With respect,


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